I have seen a number of wonderful news articles in the past week that show what we can learn from children. One was a great article from purpose fairy, 10 Valuable Life Lessons to Learn from Children. A second article was from Today about a young man who stomped a message in the snow to cheer up his mother and others in a hospital. A third article from Forbes was about mindfulness. I think children are generally very mindful, very much in the moment. And a fourth, from the golf world about someone saying thank you. A fifth from Scottsdale Desert Mountain High School showed up after I started drafting this. This was about a student who inspired the attendees at a basketball game to get him put into the game.These show how children can really give us a great example.
Too often as we grow older, we get so caught up in our lives that we forget to enjoy them. The life lessons article recommends steps to reconnect with the joy in life that children frequently experience-unless we adults teach them not to do so. The mindfulness article suggests that we will find much more success in life is we are fully present and aware, much like children who are not caught in a rut, constantly examining and exploring our environment.
I love playing with the kids in the nursery. They are exploring how to play with the various toys we have and are learning what they like and do not like. I frequently get down on the floor and play too-with cars, blocks, balls, etc. I pretend to eat plastic food and we discuss what that food is and whether or not we like the real food. We have fun. It is frequently noisy and almost always messy. But we clean it up again when we're done. As the article on learning from children suggests, we often cuddle. If someone falls or gets a bump, there is a cuddle or a kiss to make it better. If someone is sad or upset, there is usually a hug or two to help, along with kind and understanding words.
Being fully present with children does not mean there are never problems. That would not cause the growth that we see as we and they learn to manage the environment. For example, a few weeks ago, we had one 2 year old who was acting out a bit. He had trouble with the other younger one there and was not very 'nice.' After a few incidents, we had a time out together. He sat on my lap as we just sat and tried to calm down a bit. There were not tears, but we could not play with the other child who was having fun with my assistant leader. Instead, we just sat and cuddled. Then he asked about a bulletin board border next to us that had children in all sorts of positions, including upside down. We ended up copying the positions. He loved being turned upside down going backwards in my arms. What he really needed that day, but had no way to express, was the physical attention and cuddling. Mommy has a 6 month old and while she spends lots of time with her boys, this one needed a little more physical attention than she has had available lately. I will make sure he gets more regular cuddling to help fill the gap until the baby is older.
Many of us operate by rote; we don't pay much attention to what is around us. We eat the same things, drive the same way to work, wear only a few things in our wardrobes, and watch the same shows. Have you ever arrived somewhere in the car and realized that you never paid any attention while driving? You don't know how you got there. I have heard that from many people. It is far better to pay attention, to notice things as we drive. Notice the other cars and drivers; notice the conditions; be fully present; be mindful. The drive will have more meaning and as we incorporate that attention, that increased meaning will spill over into all aspects of our lives.
The boy in the Today show segment was worried about his mother who had recently been diagnosed with cancer. He chose to do something about it. While doing so, he realized he could do something for others in the hospital as well. His actions in cheering up those patients and workers were because he was fully present. He was able to think consider how he might send a message and he did it. He did not just think about it.
The game with Desert Mountain shows that kids with asperger's can still influence and make friends in spite of the difficulty their situation causes. While the article is focused on the athlete, the audience is just as important. They reacted with love.
Today, we celebrate various aspects of love with Valentine's Day. I sent out as many valentines for today as I used to give to classmates when I was in elementary school. For years, only my husband, daughter and mother got valentines. However, as I have matured, I realized that there were many others in my life that I wanted to know I was thinking of them and loved them. I now send to my sisters, nieces, step-chldren, step-grandchildren, some friends, and the kids in the nursery as well as to mom, the pro, and my daughter. I do not send virtual cards, except to friends on Facebook, because getting a letter in the mail still makes people smile.
Celebrate Valentine's Day. Smile at someone. Share your love. Fully enjoy the day. Live it like a child.
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