Fathers and family events

Father's Day is a time to reflect on our families. My father died a number of years ago. As we have significant events in our lives, I miss him. Most of the time I can 'pretend' that he's just away, but I do miss sharing events with him.

I'm grateful for the wonderful fathers around me. I see them in many places, including my extended family. Fathers are so important to the healthy development of children. They provide role models; they help boys understand how best to treat and respect women.

In our family, we have sons-in-law who are very involved in rearing their children. We have a grandson who is following in his father's footsteps as a very engaged father. These are men who are not afraid to nurture. These are the men who show us what fathers should be.

On family events

This past weekend, in Prescott, Arizona, the Arizona Golf Association and Antelope Hills Golf Course hosted the 51st Father-Son tournament. Pictures are here. Fathers, sons, and grandsons play 36 holes of golf together over the course of two days. For the AGA and the volunteers and staff at Antelope Hills, they are very long days. But it was so rewarding to participate.

Some teams have been playing together in the tournament for over 30 years. This is a family tradition, handed down from generation to generation. Golf, in and of itself, can be a wonderful experience (or, if you play like I do, it may be quite frustrating.) But what is so fabulous about this weekend is the annual ritual of getting together for two days (or three if they come up early for a practice round), visiting, having fun, and being together. Most of them started out as Arizona residents, but now many of them come in from other places to see their family and play. And it is not just the fathers and sons. Whole families come out. In some cases, mom and/or grandma rides around with them as play. In others, they join for the meal after the round but visit Prescott for one of its many amenities.

It is so easy for families to draw apart. We live in a very fast paced world. I have lived only 1.5 years near my folks since I became an adult. They were in California; I was in Vermont, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, Arizona and Utah. While my sisters stayed in California, I am not unique as a highly mobile family member. My daughter has lived in Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Utah and Tennessee. With so much mobility, a tradition such as the Father-Son tournament helps draw the family together. While many of us get together for the holidays, there is often an underlying tension and expectations that also join us. This was less evident at the tournament.

It was fun seeing so many teams wear matching shirts, shorts, hats, complete outfits, etc. A father might play with all 3 of his sons, and those sons might be also playing with 1 or 2 of their sons. I meet so many wonderful people having a great time, even if they didn't play as well as they would have liked.

The volunteers also contributed to the atmosphere: helping keep score in the large family groups, replenishing the water jugs (we had a record high 97 Sunday), managing the check-in process, rangering, managing carts, and generally making it a great experience.

While a formal tournament might not be the thing for all families, it is great to hold a family reunion around an annual event that the whole family can enjoy.