Wednesday, August 18, 2010

summer thoughts

Summer brings a different pace to life-perhaps a hold over from childhood summer vacations. It's always pretty busy, but the activities seem different than the rest of the year. It is often a time to reflect, relax, recharge, and re-energize.

This summer has been a time to reorganize. We've moved into a new home. I'm not currently working at an outside job full time, so I've had time to organize and reflect. It is so nice to be able to pare things down and create a comfortable environment in our new home. I've taken a few bags and boxes of things to Goodwill as I realize they are no longer necessary in our lives. That is very freeing. My sister will inherit a couple of items that belonged to our grandmother. I've had them since I was a child and am now passing them on.

With fewer outside demands, the inner demands are taking over. I have time to practice music again and find that my singing range has returned (which I greatly appreciate). I have time to cook and am enjoying experimenting in the kitchen. I think my husband is mostly enjoying the experiments. I have more time for him, which we both appreciate.

Part of this reflecting process is a commitment to simplifying my life. I have always been very driven and am trying to disengage that to just enjoy the journey of each day. It is a big change but is very refreshing.

All too soon, summer will end but I hope the journey continues.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Fathers and family events

Father's Day is a time to reflect on our families. My father died a number of years ago. As we have significant events in our lives, I miss him. Most of the time I can 'pretend' that he's just away, but I do miss sharing events with him.

I'm grateful for the wonderful fathers around me. I see them in many places, including my extended family. Fathers are so important to the healthy development of children. They provide role models; they help boys understand how best to treat and respect women.

In our family, we have sons-in-law who are very involved in rearing their children. We have a grandson who is following in his father's footsteps as a very engaged father. These are men who are not afraid to nurture. These are the men who show us what fathers should be.

Monday, June 7, 2010

On family events

This past weekend, in Prescott, Arizona, the Arizona Golf Association and Antelope Hills Golf Course hosted the 51st Father-Son tournament. Pictures are here. Fathers, sons, and grandsons play 36 holes of golf together over the course of two days. For the AGA and the volunteers and staff at Antelope Hills, they are very long days. But it was so rewarding to participate.

Some teams have been playing together in the tournament for over 30 years. This is a family tradition, handed down from generation to generation. Golf, in and of itself, can be a wonderful experience (or, if you play like I do, it may be quite frustrating.) But what is so fabulous about this weekend is the annual ritual of getting together for two days (or three if they come up early for a practice round), visiting, having fun, and being together. Most of them started out as Arizona residents, but now many of them come in from other places to see their family and play. And it is not just the fathers and sons. Whole families come out. In some cases, mom and/or grandma rides around with them as play. In others, they join for the meal after the round but visit Prescott for one of its many amenities.

It is so easy for families to draw apart. We live in a very fast paced world. I have lived only 1.5 years near my folks since I became an adult. They were in California; I was in Vermont, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, Arizona and Utah. While my sisters stayed in California, I am not unique as a highly mobile family member. My daughter has lived in Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Utah and Tennessee. With so much mobility, a tradition such as the Father-Son tournament helps draw the family together. While many of us get together for the holidays, there is often an underlying tension and expectations that also join us. This was less evident at the tournament.

It was fun seeing so many teams wear matching shirts, shorts, hats, complete outfits, etc. A father might play with all 3 of his sons, and those sons might be also playing with 1 or 2 of their sons. I meet so many wonderful people having a great time, even if they didn't play as well as they would have liked.

The volunteers also contributed to the atmosphere: helping keep score in the large family groups, replenishing the water jugs (we had a record high 97 Sunday), managing the check-in process, rangering, managing carts, and generally making it a great experience.

While a formal tournament might not be the thing for all families, it is great to hold a family reunion around an annual event that the whole family can enjoy.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Education Revolution

I feel strongly about learning, about maximizing our potential and developing our talents. Over the years, I have earned money from almost everything I had lessons in as a child. That was never the expectation, but it happened. My parents' expectation was that I would keep busy, stay out of trouble, and have some fun.

I love learning and continue to learn new things all the time. As my job opportunities have changed, I have developed new skills to meet the changing situation. I have worked in information technology for many years, in part because it is constantly changing. I have mastered hundreds of software programs. Because of my passion for learning, I have also consistently provided an opportunity for others to learn. For some of my jobs, it was a formal portion of the job for me to teach. For others, it was an information addition. I love learning the ins and outs of technology and then figuring out how best to apply that to business or personal situations to maximize effectiveness.

At TED, Sir Ken Robinson talks about the need for a revolution in education. I strongly support his argument. Reasoning like this was why I wanted to homeschool my daughter. I felt I could help her develop her talents and satisfy her curiosity and at the same time help her learn. She is doing something similar with her children.

Many people feel that learning ends with a diploma. I feel that a diploma is simply a recognition that you've learned how to learn. I continue to study languages, learn new software programs, new recipes to cook, new skills, new piano pieces, etc. all the time. I believe we are here to learn and love to share what I've learned with others.

Support the education revolution, learn something new and share it.

Friday, May 21, 2010

The Dilbert World

Does the world that Scott Adams shows in Dilbert resonate with you? I considered this as I read these thoughts in a leadership post. Why is this so funny?

I've spent over 20 years dong information technology jobs. I've done support, training, lots of administration, project management, just about everything there is. I've worked in large and smaller IT environments. Before that, I worked in other departments. All resembled some elements found in Dilbert. When I took one of my management courses, a Dilbert cartoon started each class. We've all seen situations like the ones Scott Adams depicts. We can relate and know the situations are ridiculous. This is one reason it is funny.

Any time process replaces people, you see situations like Dilbert highlights. I watched "Guarding Tess" the other day. At the end, when she leaves the hospital, she must be in the wheelchair. Why? It is policy. Of course, it usually makes sense that someone leaving the hospital be careful, but not everyone needs to be in a wheelchair. However, it is policy. Bureaucracies replace judgement with policy. Zero tolerance policies are a good example. Most of us realize that children punished in these situations are often punished wrongly, but policy is followed. Are we better for it?

Are we safer because a child is expelled for bringing a toy to school? Are our children safer because a child is expelled for taking their medication? There is more gun violence in schools than ever before in history and we've certainly not won the war on drugs. We no longer teach people to exercise judgement, we teach them to follow a policy. Since there are no exceptions, they become ridiculous. Scott Adams could move from the world of business to any other setting that requires we follow policy mindlessly and document more of the ridiculous situations he satirizes.

What can we as individuals do to combat the Dilbert world? Think. Ponder. Don't accept. This is a form of radicalism, isn't it? Many people are afraid to think for themselves. The holderkin people that Mercedes Lackey shows in her novel, Arrow's of the Queen, have women that would be unable to think for themselves. It isn't allowed. Talia finds it novel that she will now have to think for herself and determine her own direction. Many of us have given away our right to decide, to think, and set a direction for ourselves. We've wandered into our current situation and just continue to wander. Socrates told us that the unexamined life is not worth living. Many of us live the unexamined life because it is just easier.

It is easier to let our parents choose what we will do with our lives. Or, our first job determines what we will do. We do not decide in advance. We cannot select a major in college, so it takes 5 or more years to get a degree to do what? Well, we're not sure, so we drift.

If our lives were examined, if we had made active, instead of passive choices, what would our lives look like? If more of us did this, our lives would, in general, look less like Dilbert. What if more of us were living mindfully, like the Little Homestead in the City? Would we not be using our resources more wisely, and would our lives not be richer in the important things?

I have tried to apply these thoughts over the years, with greater and lesser degrees of success. As my husband and I recently spent some time examining our lives, we made some changes. The world would consider them to be misguided changes as they decrease our income. However, they will increase our quality of life, and that is far more important than income. We continue to make mindful changes to simplify and enhance our lives. This is the challenge of the Dilbert world.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Spring ups and downs

I love watching the buds on trees, the greening of the grass, the early bulbs. Spring is simply glorious. Then comes the hay fever. I've lived in many parts of the US, and have had different degrees of reaction. This year, now in Prescott, has been up and down. As the wind has picked up though, my allergies have responded by exploding. And I hate allergy meds. Oh well, it is a small price to pay for so much beauty.

Normally, by this time, I would be working in my garden, with much in and much ready to go in. This year, my gardening is indoors. We are in temporary housing as we go through our relocation to Prescott. The good news is, the house we've selected has some wonderful space for gardening. The bad news is, we won't be in until sometime in June. I may be able to do some summer and fall crops. So for now, I have my rosemary, aloe, and a very old cherry tomato plant as well as my normal houseplants to care for.

Gardening is such a wonderful process. It takes time-to plant, nurture, and see the seeds sprout. Then more time until you can enjoy the harvest. For shrubs and trees, I generally plant very young plants which means it takes a few years until you get the bounty and enjoyment. There is a beautiful lilac starting to bloom in our chosen house. It is about 8 feet tall. The lilac in the house we've left is about 2 feet tall and will not bloom for a few more years. For me, gardening is a long range project. The yard is a project in process that takes many years to complete. It is an act of faith. It is an investment in the future.

If you cannot plant, at least get out and enjoy the gardens around you. A walk in a park, or through a neighborhood, can be very refreshing. Nature is a great stress reliever.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

thoughts on mothers

I have a wonderful mother. Not only has she always loved us, she has expanded beyond our immediate family to include others in our extended family. There were the young men my father befriended who shared his interest with cars. There were our boyfriends and husbands. There were close friends who were only children and didn't have extended family. Our family extends far beyond those she gave birth to or the families my parents were born into. Thanks, Mom, for a great example.

I have lots of other honorary mothers in my life as well. There are many women who nurtured me, particularly when I lived far from my own mom and needed motherly advice, like when my daughter was young. Most of these women are members of my church family. A few were friends I encountered along the way. I'm grateful for their friendship and examples.

Now, I have another generation of mothers in my life: my daughter, step-daughter, and step-granddaughter. These women are also good examples. The youngest are dealing with the challenges of new babies. My step-daughter is dealing with the challenge of children leaving home. They all are doing a wonderful job of being moms.

To all the women out there who nurture us, thanks. Thanks for your love, patience and caring. What would we do without these wonderful women?

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Back again and musing on growth

I started this blog when life was changing, then it got crazy and I ran out of time for blogging. I started a new, very demanding job that I loved. It has been one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. then life threw us a curve ball, and my good husband was enticed out of retirement back to a job he left 29 years ago. The opportunity was too good to miss, so I am now between jobs, we're searching for a new house, and we've moved to Prescott, Arizona.

There is a saying that if you do not learn from history, you are doomed to repeat it. Do we learn from history? Do I? I know that when I follow my gut, intuition, or promptings of the Spirit, the end result is always better than if I do not. I recently read Blink,by Malcom Gladwell. This is about understanding our intuition and how to enhance it and really use it successfully. There is much food for thought there. We have become so focused on the rational, the scientific, and the logical, that we discount the intuitive and emotional perceptions. I'm not great at being in tune with my emotions, but the more I learn, the more I realize that they have great power to help us lead a more meaningful life.

I re-read lots of my novels. I do this because I enjoy the characters. I re-read some of the non-fiction, but in that case, it is because I expect my reactions to the insights to have changed as I have grown. What does it say about us if we do not grow and change? I do not want to be a stagnant pool. I regularly read Scriptures because the teachings apply to me differently as I grow. What I understood at twenty is different than later. I hope I have more depth and can see more application. Much of the fiction I read teaches me of the ability each of us has to be heroic. We can make difficult choices because they are right, but not easy, because of our honor and integrity (I like epic fantasy). Is it harder to save the world (think Lord of the Rings) or to take a stand that is unpopular politically? Is it harder to face a board of directors or a child that cannot be comforted?

I loved my job. It mattered. I love my husband. He matters more than the job. I have no regrets for choosing something important to him over the job I loved. My relationship with him is lasting and that with the job is very short-term. I am currently enjoying my leisure time. I have more time to read, to cook, to ponder. This is a great blessing. Whether or not I return to paid employment or continue to take short consulting opportunities, this latest change has provided an opportunity to re-assess and the time to ponder that assessment.

Life is a great test. I will continue to study my options and work toward growth. I hope to simplify my life with these current changes by more focus on my family. I also hope to be able to continue these musings here in this blog.