Are you a life-long learner or did you decide you had learned all you needed to when you finished school? If you quit learning long ago, you might want to rethink that strategy. Learning does not need to take place in a classroom, but, for optimal brain health, you want to continue to learn an challenge your brain.
I went to college for a liberal arts education. Shortly after graduating, I realized that, although i had done well, there were still too many areas of knowledge where I knew too little to be truly educated. We purchased The Harvard Classics and The Great Books. I read most of the latter and about half of the former. This took about two years. As I finished this project, I felt much better educated about both Western thought and literature. Since I had studied primarily Asian history in college, I felt this helped round out my formal education.
The various careers I have pursued have all required classes and training. A career in information technology requires acquisition of new skills at least annually, if not more often. Changes in technology can be very challenging and can keep your brain sharp. Things change so quickly, that this requirement for updating knowledge is true in every field.
Other ways to continue to learn might be in skill areas such as new crafts, music, gardening, cooking, or other hobbies. Just like with our muscles, are brains are designed for challenge. If we don't challenge our capacities, we may find them diminishing. I regularly experiment with new recipes. I like to do puzzles which challenge my brain in different ways. O do a fair amount of studying on a regular basis. And my new hobby of writing definitely challenges both my language skills and my creativity.
Lifelong learning is not only important to us, it is also important the those of younger generations around us. School may not be the most important place to teach children how to learn; that may be the home. If parents model learning, children may incorporate its importance in their own lives. Mastering a new skill is as important when one if 50 or 80 as it was when one was 10. I continue to practice foreign language skills so as not to completely lose the competence I have gained. I am no longer fluent, but I can still get by in them. At different times, I actually study them again so as to try to improve.
Lifelong learning and challenges lead to a joyful life. Seize every opportunity to expand your horizons. You won't regret it.
Monday, May 11, 2015
Monday, May 4, 2015
Reach for your dreams
As I was thinking about this blog post about reaching for your dreams, the following quote came through my RSS news feed:
"You can't do it unless you can imagine it." George Lucas
If we don't know which target we are aiming for, we are unlikely to hit it. When we are children, we experiment with a variety of dreams and goals. We want to be a policeman, fireman, cowboy, doctor, astronaut, and on and on. If we are lucky, we spent our days living in our imagination. We played a variety of make-believe games which helped us find our passions. Once I became a big reader, I know that almost every book I enjoyed became a vehicle for play. My friends and I used the Little House books, Hans Brinker, and a variety of books about the Oregon trail pioneers as a framework for play. Our swimming pool was a beach on an island after reading the Lost Stallion books. My Barbies crossed the plains in covered wagons. Occasionally, a television show provided the framework-Robin Hood, Flicka, and Sky King reruns were very helpful.
As I grew older, my reading expanded while the play decreased. I imagined myself in the context of the book, and I became an avid re-reader as a way to spend time with favorite characters. Internet sites devoted to fan fiction are a perfect fit for someone like me who likes to revisit books and characters.
What does this have to do with reaching for your dreams? As I matured, and went through the process of trying to figure out what my dreams really were, I found it harder and harder to determine what they were. Part of this was from being told, "No, you don't want to do that," and part was from my own insecurities. I was afraid of failure. Had I pursued the few dreams I could still feel, I might have failed. It was safer to ignore them, and find a way to enjoy them without pursuing the dream. My fear was stronger than the dream.
I enjoyed a variety of jobs and careers over the years. They all provided challenges, satisfaction, and opportunities for growth. None of them were things I had dreamed of doing when I was younger, but I do not regret pursuing them. In fact, some of them I truly loved, and I am glad for what I learned. As I embrace the current phase of my life where I am mostly retired, I have examined those early dreams to try to recapture some of that young passion. What emerged, which has been hidden since about the 5th grade, was writing.
I wrote a number of short mysteries when I was in 4th and 5th grade. They were based on different series I had read, but were my own stories and characters. I do not know what happened to make me stop, but I do remember spending a fair amount of time for about a year and a half writing stories. Fan fiction opened a way to begin writing creatively again.
I spend a good part of my week writing stories. I have finished (and published at www.dwiggie.com) two books based on Jane Austen characters so far. I have one being published now, and an additional two under construction. I also have one under construction that is not fan-fiction but original. If sitting at the computer were not unhealthy, I could write all day long every day. It is as satisfying for me as reading a book, and it is more intellectually challenging. May of the writers at this site publish their work as traditional or e-books. I do not know if I will ever move to that, but for now, I am reawakening the passion in me to create.
Most of us have a need to create. In the past, I have created through crafting, through cooking, through gardening, and through decorating. I have a need for creative expression, and right now, that need is being met through writing. I have friends and family who not only do not love their jobs, they do not even like them. They get little to no satisfaction, only a paycheck. If you find yourself in that situation, you need to find that passion outside of the workplace, whether at home or in a group. Perhaps you sing in a choral group, or you play on a sporting team. As a child, I loved learning the various crafts my mother explored over the years. I did not master most of them, but I loved doing them with mom: decoupage, mosaic, crewel, embroidery, knitting, crochet, painting/antiquing, and sewing were some of the avenues we explored.
It is wonderful to watch my niece explore a number of crafts with her new business, Hilary's Crafty Designs. It is obvious she has found a wonderful way to reach for her dreams. If you find yourself in a rut, perhaps it is time for you to reassess what dreams have been missing from your life. Then challenge yourself to reach for them once again. It will be worth it.
"You can't do it unless you can imagine it." George Lucas
If we don't know which target we are aiming for, we are unlikely to hit it. When we are children, we experiment with a variety of dreams and goals. We want to be a policeman, fireman, cowboy, doctor, astronaut, and on and on. If we are lucky, we spent our days living in our imagination. We played a variety of make-believe games which helped us find our passions. Once I became a big reader, I know that almost every book I enjoyed became a vehicle for play. My friends and I used the Little House books, Hans Brinker, and a variety of books about the Oregon trail pioneers as a framework for play. Our swimming pool was a beach on an island after reading the Lost Stallion books. My Barbies crossed the plains in covered wagons. Occasionally, a television show provided the framework-Robin Hood, Flicka, and Sky King reruns were very helpful.
As I grew older, my reading expanded while the play decreased. I imagined myself in the context of the book, and I became an avid re-reader as a way to spend time with favorite characters. Internet sites devoted to fan fiction are a perfect fit for someone like me who likes to revisit books and characters.
What does this have to do with reaching for your dreams? As I matured, and went through the process of trying to figure out what my dreams really were, I found it harder and harder to determine what they were. Part of this was from being told, "No, you don't want to do that," and part was from my own insecurities. I was afraid of failure. Had I pursued the few dreams I could still feel, I might have failed. It was safer to ignore them, and find a way to enjoy them without pursuing the dream. My fear was stronger than the dream.
I enjoyed a variety of jobs and careers over the years. They all provided challenges, satisfaction, and opportunities for growth. None of them were things I had dreamed of doing when I was younger, but I do not regret pursuing them. In fact, some of them I truly loved, and I am glad for what I learned. As I embrace the current phase of my life where I am mostly retired, I have examined those early dreams to try to recapture some of that young passion. What emerged, which has been hidden since about the 5th grade, was writing.
I wrote a number of short mysteries when I was in 4th and 5th grade. They were based on different series I had read, but were my own stories and characters. I do not know what happened to make me stop, but I do remember spending a fair amount of time for about a year and a half writing stories. Fan fiction opened a way to begin writing creatively again.
I spend a good part of my week writing stories. I have finished (and published at www.dwiggie.com) two books based on Jane Austen characters so far. I have one being published now, and an additional two under construction. I also have one under construction that is not fan-fiction but original. If sitting at the computer were not unhealthy, I could write all day long every day. It is as satisfying for me as reading a book, and it is more intellectually challenging. May of the writers at this site publish their work as traditional or e-books. I do not know if I will ever move to that, but for now, I am reawakening the passion in me to create.
Most of us have a need to create. In the past, I have created through crafting, through cooking, through gardening, and through decorating. I have a need for creative expression, and right now, that need is being met through writing. I have friends and family who not only do not love their jobs, they do not even like them. They get little to no satisfaction, only a paycheck. If you find yourself in that situation, you need to find that passion outside of the workplace, whether at home or in a group. Perhaps you sing in a choral group, or you play on a sporting team. As a child, I loved learning the various crafts my mother explored over the years. I did not master most of them, but I loved doing them with mom: decoupage, mosaic, crewel, embroidery, knitting, crochet, painting/antiquing, and sewing were some of the avenues we explored.
It is wonderful to watch my niece explore a number of crafts with her new business, Hilary's Crafty Designs. It is obvious she has found a wonderful way to reach for her dreams. If you find yourself in a rut, perhaps it is time for you to reassess what dreams have been missing from your life. Then challenge yourself to reach for them once again. It will be worth it.
Monday, March 9, 2015
Power and Control and abuse
In the normal course of things, I do not regularly come across any of the variety of situations that represent different types of abuse. However, just lately, they have cropped up on a number of occasions. As I have discussed these with the Pro, it became apparent that he was really only aware of physical abuse. He never really encountered or understood that these other forms of abuse can be as harmful.
I copied this Power and Control wheel from the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence. It gives a good summary of many different forms of abuse. A bruise can be obvious; the scar from one of the other forms far less so and often harder to heal.
As I was chatting with someone who was struggling in a relationship, she recognized that most of these were taking place in the relationship. I discussed it with someone else who saw that it was going on with the children in the family. Not all domestic violence is between spouses/partners. Sometimes, the non-physical abuse between parents and children is just as destructive.
What is missing from this wheel is a component of what they call "male privilege" that can often be found in a religious setting. The authority of the religion is invoked when the decision is removed from the recipient. When it is parent/child, it really is a positional privilege and is committed by either parent. Even as they mature, the child is not allowed to make choices or define himself/herself.
I watched one family many years ago where, as each child reached the age of 16, they left the home and chose to rebel against their religion as practices by the parents. In church, we frequently talk of our agency or free will but these parents refused to grant the ability to exercise that in any way in the home. They were the only ones who could choose. As a result, each child chose a complete break with the parents once they were old enough to leave home. They did so even though they were still in high school. It was sad to see. I had been friends with one of the girls in the family until she left.
All this abuse is about trying to exert control over another, whether that is the partner or the child. It probably stems from some sort of insecurity, but it also cannot be tolerated. As various organizations are trying to stop the violence and stop us from looking the other way, we also need to remember to look beyond the obvious physical violence to these others. They can be very insidious and hard to see. Remember the old movie, Gaslight? A determined person can often convince someone that they are only imagining what is going on. The flippant joke is just because you are paranoid does not mean they are not out to get you. Abuse is not a joke, it is not love, it is not caring. It is all about power and control. Let's stamp it out.
I copied this Power and Control wheel from the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence. It gives a good summary of many different forms of abuse. A bruise can be obvious; the scar from one of the other forms far less so and often harder to heal.
As I was chatting with someone who was struggling in a relationship, she recognized that most of these were taking place in the relationship. I discussed it with someone else who saw that it was going on with the children in the family. Not all domestic violence is between spouses/partners. Sometimes, the non-physical abuse between parents and children is just as destructive.
What is missing from this wheel is a component of what they call "male privilege" that can often be found in a religious setting. The authority of the religion is invoked when the decision is removed from the recipient. When it is parent/child, it really is a positional privilege and is committed by either parent. Even as they mature, the child is not allowed to make choices or define himself/herself.
I watched one family many years ago where, as each child reached the age of 16, they left the home and chose to rebel against their religion as practices by the parents. In church, we frequently talk of our agency or free will but these parents refused to grant the ability to exercise that in any way in the home. They were the only ones who could choose. As a result, each child chose a complete break with the parents once they were old enough to leave home. They did so even though they were still in high school. It was sad to see. I had been friends with one of the girls in the family until she left.
All this abuse is about trying to exert control over another, whether that is the partner or the child. It probably stems from some sort of insecurity, but it also cannot be tolerated. As various organizations are trying to stop the violence and stop us from looking the other way, we also need to remember to look beyond the obvious physical violence to these others. They can be very insidious and hard to see. Remember the old movie, Gaslight? A determined person can often convince someone that they are only imagining what is going on. The flippant joke is just because you are paranoid does not mean they are not out to get you. Abuse is not a joke, it is not love, it is not caring. It is all about power and control. Let's stamp it out.
Monday, February 16, 2015
Book 2, Almost Persuaded, now complete and thoughts on writing
One of the true benefits of semi-retirement is mental time. I find that I spend far less time reading and more time writing than I could have imagined. Right now, I have four books in progress and have just completed publishing book number two at www.dwiggie.com, The Derbyshire Writers' Guild. They are such a fun, supportive community. I have appreciated their support and comments as I've been publishing this book.
If you are interested in reading Almost Persuaded, you can find it at http://www.dwiggie.com/derby/shannag2.htm. My name on the site is ShannaG.
When I was a child, I indulged in what is now called Fan Fiction, but not by writing down my stories. Instead, I would read a book, and then create a way for my friends and I to relive or adapt the book into an afternoon of play. Once I was reading regularly, many of the books I read served as a framework for such games.
The discovery of Fan Fiction has been wonderful for me. For years, I would re-read my favorite books because I enjoyed the characters. Now, with fan fiction, I can revisit the characters in different scenarios. That is even better. Some of the authors at this site are truly great. All are quite creative. I have read so many wonderful stories. A side benefit of this is that I am not spending quite as much money on books as I have in the past. Since our budget this year is limited, that is a wonderful benefit.
Creating the story out of imagination is so satisfying. Sometimes, I start with some general ideas and build from there. Other times, I start with the idea of interesting pairings, usually when I am crating a mash-up of more than one Jane Austen novel. For my non-Austen work, I spend a lot of time day dreaming the story before actually getting it written. I do that with the Austen too, but if I am following her general plot, I do not have to work all of that out at first as I do non-Austen stories.
I now wish I had told my daughter more stories of my own when she was younger. Practice would have been a good thing. However, I am getting that practice now.
If you are interested in reading Almost Persuaded, you can find it at http://www.dwiggie.com/derby/shannag2.htm. My name on the site is ShannaG.
When I was a child, I indulged in what is now called Fan Fiction, but not by writing down my stories. Instead, I would read a book, and then create a way for my friends and I to relive or adapt the book into an afternoon of play. Once I was reading regularly, many of the books I read served as a framework for such games.
The discovery of Fan Fiction has been wonderful for me. For years, I would re-read my favorite books because I enjoyed the characters. Now, with fan fiction, I can revisit the characters in different scenarios. That is even better. Some of the authors at this site are truly great. All are quite creative. I have read so many wonderful stories. A side benefit of this is that I am not spending quite as much money on books as I have in the past. Since our budget this year is limited, that is a wonderful benefit.
Creating the story out of imagination is so satisfying. Sometimes, I start with some general ideas and build from there. Other times, I start with the idea of interesting pairings, usually when I am crating a mash-up of more than one Jane Austen novel. For my non-Austen work, I spend a lot of time day dreaming the story before actually getting it written. I do that with the Austen too, but if I am following her general plot, I do not have to work all of that out at first as I do non-Austen stories.
I now wish I had told my daughter more stories of my own when she was younger. Practice would have been a good thing. However, I am getting that practice now.
Monday, February 2, 2015
New Year's Resolutions-Already Abandoned?
Now that the first month of the year is gone, have you already abandoned those overly ambitious and vague resolutions? Many of us have. Vague wishes are not truly resolutions that drive change. So, how do we make our changes come to pass? First, they must not just be vague wishes. We have to want them more than that. And we need a definite plan on how to accomplish them. And we cannot give up.
Here is a good reminder from Zig Ziglar's Facebook page.
If you really plan to make a change, it will take time. It will take regular effort, if not daily effort, and commitment. You may make progress, then slip back for a while, then continue forward again. If you take the slipping back as the end, you will fail. You must expect that there will be set backs. Simply do a reset and recommit.
If you look at a resolution as something similar to taking a class in something, you do not achieve mastery in the first day. That day, you usually have an overview of what will be studied in the course of the class. Over the next days, weeks, months, with regular effort, you begin to gain some mastery. This is true whether the subject is athletic, academic, artistic; in short, it takes time to learn.
Is your goal to lose weight? If so, you know you did not gain it all in one day, one week, or even one month. You gained gradually over time. It will required changes to lose it again. Those might be diet modifications, exercise and activity modifications, or a combination of both. You might need the support of a group like weight watchers or a weight buddy. You might want to do it on your own. Maybe you want a journal to track your activity and food or an app on your phone. If this is really your goal, research what will work for you, and then implement that change. When you find yourself backsliding, then is the time to recommit, if you really want that goal. If it is merely something nice that you dream about, that isn't a goal and will likely not be achieved.
I have spent most of my working life saving so that I can have a relatively comfortable life in retirement. Most of the time, I have maxed out the 401 k plan, and, where available, the employee stock purchase plans as well. This meant making a conscious choice to live on less than my income. When the income was higher, this was easier than when it was lower. However, I made that choice and lived on the lower income in those years. Compound savings really can add up. I have not reached the dollar goal I set for myself, but I am fairly close.
In my own life, I have vague dreams and well as true goals. I do not consider the vague dreams to be resolutions. I try to create resolutions for the tangible goals. Thus, I have made far more progress in the latter than the former. If you truly want to change, you can find a way. There are resources available. Find them. Enlist them. Make your goals a reality. You can do it.
Here is a good reminder from Zig Ziglar's Facebook page.
If you really plan to make a change, it will take time. It will take regular effort, if not daily effort, and commitment. You may make progress, then slip back for a while, then continue forward again. If you take the slipping back as the end, you will fail. You must expect that there will be set backs. Simply do a reset and recommit.
If you look at a resolution as something similar to taking a class in something, you do not achieve mastery in the first day. That day, you usually have an overview of what will be studied in the course of the class. Over the next days, weeks, months, with regular effort, you begin to gain some mastery. This is true whether the subject is athletic, academic, artistic; in short, it takes time to learn.
Is your goal to lose weight? If so, you know you did not gain it all in one day, one week, or even one month. You gained gradually over time. It will required changes to lose it again. Those might be diet modifications, exercise and activity modifications, or a combination of both. You might need the support of a group like weight watchers or a weight buddy. You might want to do it on your own. Maybe you want a journal to track your activity and food or an app on your phone. If this is really your goal, research what will work for you, and then implement that change. When you find yourself backsliding, then is the time to recommit, if you really want that goal. If it is merely something nice that you dream about, that isn't a goal and will likely not be achieved.
I have spent most of my working life saving so that I can have a relatively comfortable life in retirement. Most of the time, I have maxed out the 401 k plan, and, where available, the employee stock purchase plans as well. This meant making a conscious choice to live on less than my income. When the income was higher, this was easier than when it was lower. However, I made that choice and lived on the lower income in those years. Compound savings really can add up. I have not reached the dollar goal I set for myself, but I am fairly close.
In my own life, I have vague dreams and well as true goals. I do not consider the vague dreams to be resolutions. I try to create resolutions for the tangible goals. Thus, I have made far more progress in the latter than the former. If you truly want to change, you can find a way. There are resources available. Find them. Enlist them. Make your goals a reality. You can do it.
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