Reach for your dreams

As I was thinking about this blog post about reaching for your dreams, the following quote came through my RSS news feed:
 
"You can't do it unless you can imagine it." George Lucas

If we don't know which target we are aiming for, we are unlikely to hit it. When we are children, we experiment with a variety of dreams and goals. We want to be a policeman, fireman, cowboy, doctor, astronaut, and on and on. If we are lucky, we spent our days living in our imagination. We played a variety of make-believe games which helped us find our passions. Once I became a big reader, I know that almost every book I enjoyed became a vehicle for play. My friends and I used the Little House books, Hans Brinker, and a variety of books about the Oregon trail pioneers as a framework for play. Our swimming pool was a beach on an island after reading the Lost Stallion books. My Barbies crossed the plains in covered wagons. Occasionally, a television show provided the framework-Robin Hood, Flicka, and Sky King reruns were very helpful.

As I grew older, my reading expanded while the play decreased. I imagined myself in the context of the book, and I became an avid re-reader as a way to spend time with favorite characters. Internet sites devoted to fan fiction are a perfect fit for someone like me who likes to revisit books and characters.

What does this have to do with reaching for your dreams? As I matured, and went through the process of trying to figure out what my dreams really were, I found it harder and harder to determine what they were. Part of this was from being told, "No, you don't want to do that," and part was from my own insecurities. I was afraid of failure. Had I pursued the few dreams I could still feel, I might have failed. It was safer to ignore them, and find a way to enjoy them without pursuing the dream. My fear was stronger than the dream.

I enjoyed a variety of jobs and careers over the years. They all provided challenges, satisfaction, and opportunities for growth. None of them were things I had dreamed of doing when I was younger, but I do not regret pursuing them. In fact, some of them I truly loved, and I am glad for what I learned. As I embrace the current phase of my life where I am mostly retired, I have examined those early dreams to try to recapture some of that young passion. What emerged, which has been hidden since about the 5th grade, was writing.

I wrote a number of short mysteries when I was in 4th and 5th grade. They were based on different series I had read, but were my own stories and characters. I do not know what happened to make me stop, but I do remember spending a fair amount of time for about a year and a half writing stories. Fan fiction opened a way to begin writing creatively again.

I spend a good part of my week writing stories. I have finished (and published at www.dwiggie.com) two books based on Jane Austen characters so far. I have one being published now, and an additional two under construction. I also have one under construction that is not fan-fiction but original. If sitting at the computer were not unhealthy, I could write all day long every day. It is as satisfying for me as reading a book, and it is more intellectually challenging. May of the writers at this site publish their work as traditional or e-books. I do not know if I will ever move to that, but for now, I am reawakening the passion in me to create.

Most of us have a need to create. In the past, I have created through crafting, through cooking, through gardening, and through decorating. I have a need for creative expression, and right now, that need is being met through writing. I have friends and family who not only do not love their jobs, they do not even like them. They get little to no satisfaction, only a paycheck. If you find yourself in that situation, you need to find that passion outside of the workplace, whether at home or in a group. Perhaps you sing in a choral group, or you play on a sporting team. As a child, I loved learning the various crafts my mother explored over the years. I did not master most of them, but I loved doing them with mom: decoupage, mosaic, crewel, embroidery, knitting, crochet, painting/antiquing, and sewing were some of the avenues we explored.

It is wonderful to watch my niece explore a number of crafts with her new business, Hilary's Crafty Designs. It is obvious she has found a wonderful way to reach for her dreams. If you find yourself in a rut, perhaps it is time for you to reassess what dreams have been missing from your life. Then challenge yourself to reach for them once again. It will be worth it.

Following a different path

I saw this cartoon from Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes) a few months ago. A Facebook friend shared it again this week.It is about following creating a life that reflects your values. You can find the original at http://m.imgur.com/r/pics/66DxiHX.

 

As I re-read this, I reflected back on my life and how it has or has not reflected my values. When I chose to stay home with my daughter after her birth, because I think being there if very important if you choose motherhood, my father was very critical of my choice. He actually said, "You have too much to contribute. Anyone can take care of your child for you." I completely disagreed with that and found a way to stay home until she was 3. I then succumbed to pressure and went back to work full time. I looked hard and found someone doing the things with her child that I tried to do with mine (although it appeared she was more successful with her consistent efforts than I) and she provided the day care for me.

After a couple of years creating serious burn out, I left the job and home-schooled and was home most of the time. I worked part time at a variety of jobs including my own business, but fit that in around the after-school program my daughter attended.

When divorce removed the option for home-schooling, I re-entered the job market. The first few efforts were insufficient to sustain us, but I finally found a good niche and we had enough. I crept up the corporate ladder, got a graduate degree, and did find some corporate success.  

My life changed again with marriage to the golf pro. He was planning to serve a church mission at the time we married, and I was in a financial position to allow him to do that. For the first 18 months of our marriage, he served a local welfare mission, working at the employment center.

Change occurred again when he returned to full time golf course management for the first time in our marriage in 2010. I found a rewarding part time job that morphed into one that was pretty all consuming. I enjoyed it, but my heart was with helping the pro at his job. He found success by following his passion, and in this world of technology, wanted my help adapting to the changes. Because he is now providing, I can do just that-and figure out what else I really want to do.

Following the advice in the comic is easier if there is a true partnership, with each partner enabling the other to follow his or her dreams. I am lucky to have found that and am grateful for it.

I think the hardest part of this is determining what it is that fills our souls and is our passion. I buried it so deeply that it is taking quite a lot of time to resurrect. I know my values place my commitment to God and family first, so that part isn't hard. The hard part is what fills my soul. I think it has to do with teaching in some way as I find that so very satisfying. It might have to do with writing because that is also very satisfying. Ultimately, I hope this blog helps me uncover these things about me. If it helps someone else realize these things too, that would be fabulous.